New Arrivals: March 28

 

"I am not a God-fearing man and that feeling is entirely mutual." - Andy Zaltzman

"Be ye not snit-prone." -Bryan Bowers

"From the first day of your life you were born into this gunfight with a knife." - Grace Petrie

“It’s hard to convince people that you’re killing them for their own good.” - Molly Ivins

"The internet is like God, only much less respectable." -James Lincoln Warren

"I am coming to the belief that a large percentage of the world's problems are caused by people who don't have impostor syndrome, but REALLY, REALLY should." -Mike Masnick

"Once a hole is a grave it doesn't like to be empty." - Steve Hockensmith

"The love of money is the root of all folk songs." - Bob Snider

"I didn't take chances.  Chances took me." - Michael Z. Lewin 

“There’s very little difference between water, electricity and television.” - Gerald Levin 

Courage and Fear

"To have courage you have to love something." - Joy Ann Reid

"Not all capes wear heroes." -Zach Maxwell

 "Fear doesn't stop death so much as it stops life." -Bill Fitzhugh

"There is no man smaller than the coward at a hero’s wake.” - Old Irish Saying

"A sense of responsibility is often an effective substitute for courage." - Melvin Purvis

“Someone once told me that fear and courage are like lightning and thunder. They both start out at the same time, but fear travels faster and arrives sooner. If we just wait a moment, the requisite courage will be along shortly.” – Lawrence Block

Conspiracy Theories

" The beauty of conspiracy theories, though, is that they are ever-flowing streams that easily slip around obstacles in their path to get to their destination." - Philip Bump

 "Most conspiracy theorists have never been project planners." - Merlin Mann

“Conspiracy theories are insults to history.”  - Neil Steinberg

“With conspiracy theories, inconsistency is a feature, not a bug." - Denver Riggleman

"Even for those of us who don't see black helicopters under our beds, conspiracy theory has become the horoscope of the late 1990s." -Mark Dery

 

Religion

"I am not a God-fearing man and that feeling is entirely mutual." - Andy Zaltzman

"Religion: it's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion." - Jon Stewart

"Wherever you find a god you'll find somebody waiting to take charge of the burnt offerings." - O. Henry

"God works in mysterious ways and God isn't taking any questions at this time." - Dan Savage

"You gotta treat God like Grandma."  - Jerron Paxton

"If childhood piety was like having chicken pox, its resurgence was like shingles -- the itching had come back decades later as pain." - Thomas Perry

“Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet” – Mark Twain

"There are a lot worse things to believe in than God." -Suzanne M. Wolfe

"I think there probably is humor in heaven, or earth wouldn't look like this." - Ovidia Yu

"Some times I feel like God's favorite sitcom." - Marie-Helene Bertino

"Are you aware that there’s an abundance of recent science that actually confirms the Genesis account of creation?" - Louisiana State Senator John Milkovich (D-Shreveport), 3/29/2016

"TiVo is god in my household." -Michael Powell, Chairman of the FCC, January 2003.

"If God is in the details, then the Code of Federal Regulations and especially the Federal Register are leading candidates for secular deification." -Joe Morehead

"You don't want to read the Book of Revelation and the federal budget in one sitting. It is pretty scary." -Gene Goldsmith, (former) state representative, 42nd District of Washington

"I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth." -Bill Bryson

"A true holy book could fit on an index card, but most of the words on it haven't been invented yet." - Will Ludwigsen

"The second law of thermodynamics, simply put, is as follows: left to themselves, things tend to go to hell in a handbasket." -Cecil Adams

"In eternity, there will be no underground beatnik intellectual dive cafe's hashing phony, ambiguous 'word art' for you to lounge in and laugh it up with your cheap wine coolers and funky sexually-vague groupies." - An anonymous correspondent of the Kook's Museum.

"Don't play God.  He always wins." - Terry Pratchett

"If it were proven that there is a God, there would be no religion." - Ursula K. LeGuin

"I frankly don't care if someone thinks I'm going to hell after death and I'm not going to argue with him for the same reason I'm not going to argue with someone who believes that I'm going to the lost continent of Atlantis after dinner." - Dan Savage

"Fear prophets and those prepared to die for the truth, for as a rule they make many others die with them, often before them, at times instead of them." -Umberto Eco

Sanity and Insanity

 "What is paranoia, after all, but  an extreme form of gullibility?" - Mat Coward

“That way, of course, lies madness, but I would be the last person to say that madness is not a solution.”  -James Thurber

"Yes, I am insane. Thanks for asking." -Harlan Coben 

Truth and Falsehood

 

"Contrarian arguments are generally contrarian because they're bullshit." -Scott Lemieux

"A lying man produces more plausible excuses." - Dave Gordon

"Truth is stoned to death by tiny pebbles." - Judy Dugas

Or perhaps the truth is less interesting than the facts?" -Amy Weiss, Senior VicePresident for Communications, RIAA

"I am always true to my word, which happens to be 'dishonest.'" - Lorrie B. Potters

"Bullshit still works as fertilizer."  - Chuck Wendig

"Truth is very scarce in official documents. It is not expected by the public, and it would be utterly thrown away upon Congress." -J. Ross Browne, U.S. Treasury official, 1858
 

Conscience

 

"The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience." -Harper Lee

"A buried conscience is the worst ghost of all."  - Janice Law (slightly edited)

"An attorney must have either a guilty conscience or no conscience at all." -David Mamet 

"People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well and is cheaper, and more easily obtained." - Jerome K. Jerome